Jewish Divorce Mediation

Divorce Mediation Promotes Emotional Stability

Having practiced as a trial lawyer in Toronto, and as a psychotherapist, I can tell you that the winner in litigation is not necessarily party with the stronger financial resources, although that is certainly one crucial factor in litigation success. In many cases it is the party with the most balanced personal emotional resources. I have seen many legitimate cases fail to proceed, and a person lose their rights, because that party is not emotionally ready or willing to go through the rigorous trial process.  They just don`t have the emotional resilience to withstand the pressure leading up to and during the trial process.  They will say,"Oh just let them have whatever they want. I have no strength to fight."  This creates an unjust inequality of  bargaining  power.

I hear you saying: "So be it. The race is to the swifter and the mightier. So let the stronger party win."

That would be true in commercial litigation but not when it comes to family disputes. Because when the stronger party bullies his way to win  in court, he actaully loses. He loses the goodwill of his family-those with whom he seeks on ongoing relationship. So when he wins--he loses.

Studies have shown that children`s academic and social success suffers when parents go through marital problems.  And this is when there is mere marital conflcit--even when the parties are far from separating. How much moreso when the marriage is breaking up. The toll on the children`s emotional stability is immeasurably negative. They lose their sense of security and confidence. The family security net is being removed and they feel vulnerable. They lose concentration, they may act out in school and they may begin to act in inappropriate ways.

The way to minimize the fallout on the children is to avoid litigation and to engage in divorce or spearation mediation. No, you will not get a better deal if you hire a shark litigator. The litigator will usually settle anyway and he cannot change the facts on the ground. He will settle the case to then same result as would a divorce mediator, only in a fraction of the time and expense, and without as much emotional trauma.

Divorce Mediator , Rabbi Yisroel Roll, will ensure that the children continue to see both sets of grandparents and extended family as part of the settlement agrerement. The agreement will set up a mechanism for the orderly and civil transfer and handing off of the children from one ex-spouse to the other for visitation, access and Shabbos/Yom Tov  arrangements. How? By ensuring that both parties know and understand that every act of sabatoage and negativity by one sposue against the other will hurt the children and will actually boomerang to hurt themselves.

Rabbi Roll, who is himself  a licesned pscyhotherapist, will encourage  the family to attend family counseling for at least 5 sessions so that a professional counselor will give the children an opportunity to express their feelings and to learn coping strategies. Rabbi Roll states, “It is not a failure of parenting skills that necessitates counseling in family breakdown situations. It is a new reality and the children need an impartial professional facilitator who can channel communication, and who will allow the children to sort out their feelings and learn to adjust to the restructuring of the family. This takes work. "

Rabbi Roll states, "I ensure that this work is done in the best interests of the children.”

For a consultaion with divorce mediator,  Rabbi Yisroel Roll, contact

 1-800-557-0678 or email roll@creativemediationgroup.com

Offices in Toronto and Baltimore.

Please visit http://www.creativemediationgroup.com/group.com